Things I Can Not Do
Woodworking
Handstands
Auto repair
Play the harp
Throw a 90mph fastball
Recover the hours of my life that were wasted in traffic
Scuba dive
Get excited about the World Cup
Drink gin
Speak Portugese
Stand for election to the British House of Commons
Play defensive end for the Detroit Lions
Convincingly play jazz
Fly a helicopter
Broker negotiations between Israel and the Palestinian Authority
Accurately predict the outcome of major sporting events
Sit through another movie with Steve Zahn in it
posted by Kevlar Pinata @ 12:07 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
I can't do any of those things either.
Somehow, in my mind I'm actually convinced that I could play a decent defensive third base for the Cubs (all glove no hit), though in actuality that's probably not true.
I just watched "America's Got Talent" and now I know that I cannot:
yodel
balance a stove on my face
pick up a bow and arrow, WITH MY FEET, WHILE STANDING ON MY HANDS, aim it, and shoot the dead center of a bull's eye
balance a sword, by its point, on the point of a dagger which I am holding with my mouth
wear glitter
juggle
clog
admit to ANYONE that I think it's cute how amazed David Hasselhof gets at JUST ABOUT EVERY ACT.
correctly spell Hasselhof. I mean, Hasslehoff. I mean ... well, you know.
obviously, you cannot "do" grammar either...
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