Gimme Your Feedback

Here's the deal. I haven't posted in ages. I'm finishing up some schoolwork, and I wrote a script for a presentation, and I'm sharing it here. This will introduce the topic and preface a more serious discussion. The classroom scene: two people at laptops "acting" out an online chat. Someone will be working a powerpoint and the "quotes" will appear on the screen as we "write" them. Here 'tis. Feedback is welcome. To those of you searching for Cymbalta who have landed here, the script below is totally made up and if you take it seriously then do so at your own peril. For the other three of you who continue to read the Hombre, hope you have a laugh or two!

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Online Chat
Forum: Drugs4U
Topic: Antidepressants for Beginners


SAD78: Hello out there….I’m really sad. Painfully. What should I do?

HAPPY82: How sad are U?

SAD78: Well, things aren’t good. Real sad. Lots of sleep. Always fatigued. And everything hurts…emotionally and physically, 2.

HAPPY82: Sounds bad. Sorry 2 hear that.

SAD78: Yeah. : (

HAPPY82: Have U been in therapy?

SAD78: Yeah, some. A few years ago I talked 2 a social worker for an hour. He told me 2 have more positive thoughts.

HAPPY82: Did it work?

SAD78: Are u kidding?

HAPPY82: Right. Sorry.

SAD78: But then I saw my regular doc. He gave me a couple different drugs.

HAPPY82: How bout those? Did they help?

SAD78: Made me shaky. I threw up once.

HAPPY82: Did they relieve Ur depression?
SAD78: Not really. My sex life went 2 hell. No desire, no ability 2…U know…um…finish.

HAPPY82: Yeesh. Sorry again. That happens sometimes.

SAD78: So I stopped taking them. This past year has gotten worse. I hurt all over.

HAPPY82: Sounds like ur in a bad way.

SAD78: YES! Dammit.

HAPPY82: Irritable, too, huh.

SAD78: rolleyes

HAPPY82: Maybe U should try meds again? They’ve got some new ones that might really help.

SAD78: I dunno. Those drugs didn’t do me right last time.

HAPPY82: There’s a new drug out there that actually might be perfect.

SAD78: GR8! Non-addictive heroin?

HAPPY82: Um. Bear with me here. I’m trying 2 help.

SAD78: Sorry. I suck.

HAPPY82: Do U suck? No. UR depressed.

SAD78: Right. What’s the drug?

HAPPY82: It’s called Cymbalta.

SAD78: Is it for percussionists?

HAPPY82: No. It’s for sad people in pain. Or even one or the other. I suppose sad, pained percussionists could take it, also.

SAD78: What makes it different than the last sex-killing, vomit-inducing, ineffective drug?

HAPPY82: Well, for one thing, some people react 2 drugs differently. Ur bad reaction may have been for that individual drug, and this one might not do that.

SAD78: What’s this about it being for people in pain also?

HAPPY82: Well, that last drug U were on was an SSRI. This one’s an SSNRI. The N helps take away pain.

SAD78: N? What the hell?

HAPPY82: Yeah. It’s an extra special ingredient. Well, not actually an ingredient. It provokes an extra activity in the body that regular SSRIs don’t do.

SAD78: So I’ll be irregular?

HAPPY82: Not that kind of drug. But I suppose it’s possible.

SAD78: Sorry.

HAPPY82: SSRIs only increase serotonin in the body. SSNRIs increase norepinepherine as well.

SAD78: Does Norah Jones take it?

HAPPY82: Do U want me 2 help U or not?

SAD78: Yes.

HAPPY82: So anyway, jerk, Cymbalta is a dual action drug. It works on 2 different neurotransmitters that contribute 2 brain activity, and raised levels of these generally relieve depression. At least some of the symptoms.

SAD78: Again, what about the pain.

HAPPY82: That’s why I thought of this for U. The increased levels of the N help relieve pain.

SAD78: U mean there’s a drug out there just perfect for me? Sad and in pain?

HAPPY82: Well, maybe. It’s a good drug. Maybe it won’t have the same side-effects. I can’t promise that, but it’s possible.

SAD78: What if I have daily conversations with a masturbating elephant made of smoke who talks 2 me about politics and religion?

HAPPY82: Sounds like an interesting experience, but Cymbalta probably won’t help with that.

SAD78: Will it make me strong? Able 2 hit homeruns?

HAPPY82: Doubtful.

SAD78: Will I be able 2 drink and do drugs 2 my heart’s content and not worry about the consequences?

HAPPY82: ???

SAD78: What are U wearing?


...end of chat...