Big words

From the pinata:

I received a call on Thursday from a guy at an Ivy League school; a friend and former coworker is up for a job there, so I was serving as Mr. Reference Person. Naturally, I wanted to use the largest words possible in my conversation, in the obviously preposterous notion the size and command of my vocabulary was ultimately going to determine whether or not my friend would land a job at Prestigious U.

Actual words that came out of my mouth: "His sense of propriety is unassailable." Proof positive that I am indeed something of a weenie.

I had initially tried to present all of my verbal responses in iambic pentameter, but I was unable to keep track of my syllable counts. If I had only been able to work "forsooth" into the conversation, I think he'd be in like Flynn.