A Million Little Opinions

Just - and I mean just, like in the last hour - finished reading "A Million Little Pieces", the now-controversial book that might be a memoir or might be a highly stylized work of fiction based on real events. If you haven't kept track of the controversy, one of a million different places to start reading might be here.

First off, it's a great and searing read. It's a great story, no doubt. But isn't there something about promoting a book as a memoir that requires a level of honesty and accuracy? And do we know for sure that the book is liberal in its use of exaggerations and untruths? For me, I say no - we don't really know how much is true, but obviously some questions have been raised. Still, I think that there is a level of accuracy and integrity required of memoirs and documentaries that isn't required of other works. And if the author (or director, in the case of documentary filmmaking) breaches the line between truth and fiction, it's proper to call that out. It seems to me that this whole controversy would have been avoided if the publisher and/or author had promoted the book as a narrative based on real events - as opposed to promoting it as a memoir.

But now, to a different issue: The book details Frey's stay at a rehab clinic. According to his description, the clinic in question holds that the 12-step method to addiction recovery is the only viable methodology available today. (Please note: I have no way to comment on their position. I'm just not informed enough to weigh in on that debate.) But Frey rejects the 12-step method and chooses to base his ultimate recovery on his own day-by-day rejection of alcohol and drugs. I'm not an expert - or even a marginally informed layman - with regard to addiction. But I do wonder if his rejection of the method (which seems to be based on his distaste for its avowed reliance upon God or a loosely defined "Higher Power") will lead others who have perhaps less will power to try his same method. And if they do fail there where they might have succeeded in a 12-step context, does he bear some blame? Honestly, I think the answer is probably that he doesn't, because people are responsible for whatever decisions they make, foolish or otherwise. But it's interesting to think about.

I'm sure that others on the blog will have interesting thoughts on the topic, so I post a loose question to y'all: whaddya think?

Hush Puppies 2006

I'm pretty sure that my new shoes look like puppy dogs.

Brain Paste

At the gym today, people are still in the January phase and it's crowded as hell. The only treadmill I could get was in front of MTV. Nowhere else to look, nothing else in my eyesight....there I am, watching 4:30 - 5:30 central time MTV. I saw this. Then, astonishingly, I saw this, with Ashlee Simpson as the subject.

The crazy thing about these shows is this: The guys are truly an embarassment to their gender, offensively dumb and shallow. And the girls do not seem legitimately dumb. No. They really don't. But they act dumb, and they act sex crazed and slutty, and I can't speak for women but I'd be surprised if they aren't considered to be an embarassment to their gender as well. What's worse: being truly dumb and shallow, or just acting like it? No one really comes out good here. If it isn't clear, and if anyone is thinking of being offended by my thoughts on this, I encourage you to do two things: 1) believe that the dude I saw on the show was horrifying and horrifying (there is not a second word I can think of, and saying it once is not enough), and 2) watch the show so you understand what I'm trying to describe, so that you don't think I'm casting one gender above the other on the evolutionary food chain. Indeed I am not. Bottom feeders, each and every one of us who is 19 - 26.

Anyway, I was forced into watching this. And slowly, my brain dripped out of my head and landed on the treadmill, eventually ending up in a fine, mashed paste that used to contain the neurons that were previously watching the televised morons.

Hey, look, I watched J. Geils vids back in the day. And in 1992, I watched the first season of the Real World because I had a crush on the chick and it was in New York and I lived there and I was the same age. And throughout the 90s, I secretely watched the spring break shows because every now and then I got to see cute girls in bikinis. And I watched Remote Control because Kari Whurer was unbelievably hot (I recall being 19 at the time, can I have some slack on this?). So I've done the MTV as a targeted consumer bit. But something has changed, and it's probably me, but I'm thinking it isn't all me, and the part that isn't all me scares the crap out of me.

I'll tell you this, chicks didn't used to come up to guys whom they have never met and tell the guys on TV that they would drive them crazy until dawn, and guys didn't used to, 12 minutes after meeting a girl, suck lime juice out of her belly button. What. Is. Happening. What's next?

Do I want to know? Not sure.

Just Really Just No Just Stop

If I hear one more psychologist ask me what it is in me that makes me feel this way I'm going to scream.

I'm just sayin'.

Cardinal Rule of Psychology That I Have Learned: Sometimes the question belies the problem, and sometimes the problem is the asshat asking the question.

Just sayin'.

Not Quite In The Swing, But Trying

Clearly, I've been otherwise occupied.

In times like these, I've resorted to posting interesting articles from the NYTimes Sunday Magazine, like this one here, which is sad and fascinating.

Other times, I'd offer an interesting observation, like the one where in the inpatient VA nurses' office there is a clock on the wall with a note taped just below it that reads "This clock is always three minutes behind", which leads me to wonder, why didn't someone change it rather than writing a note about it, and if you are going to have a clock wrong on purpose, why wouldn't it be running ahead. I disagree with the concept that setting clocks wrong can trick you into being on time, but even if you do believe in that concept, setting the clock behind will really not help very much. And if there is a sign telling you it's behind, then, uhm, why?

And then at other times, I'd tell you what I've been busy doing. Like reading White Racism by this guy, who is clearly an uber-intellectual with a lot of time on his hands. No disservice intended: the book is brilliant. But it's ridiculously dense, tracing a "psychohistory" from the oedipal roots of Christianity (pushing away the harsh, punitive father in favor of a desexualized, safer son and a virginal, approving mother) to the cultural anality of the Middle Ages (money as excrement) to the development of unconscious pervasive racism in the West (including both slavery and abolitionists as different defensive reactions to the cultural anal fixation). The guy's got brains and this book is mind-blowing. Both in context of information and depressive substance.

And then I'd tell you about the 43 other things I'm doing, except you all have similar stories and that would be boring.

And finally, if Comedy Central ever posts the clip, and they have not yet done so, I will direct Felicity Taint's and your attention to the Ed Helms five-minute riff on "getting the taint out of Washington" in response to a comment from a congressman on the Abromoff deal. If they ever post it, it's a classic. If you read this in time, turn on the reruns of last night's show (they rerun them early evening the next night, which is today).

Not Just a Day Off

The video.
The text.

Take the time. Share it with others. This is important.

A Fire-Engine Red, Sequined Tuxedo With Fringe

James Brown, everyone, last night at the House of Blues in Chicago.

What was I doing there? Well, clearly I was getting down.

I so rarely go to shows anymore. But the opportunity arose and I've never seen the Godfather, so I put down the plentiful books and papers that are on the docket and went out for a night of James Effin Brown.

I won't give the long review. The synopsis: The man is a force of nature. A brilliant musician. The band kicked ass. The background singers/dancers shook theirs. The hardest working man in show business knows how to entertain. There were more than a few super slow moments that didn't work, but the highs were unbelievable. And the reason there were some moments that didn't work is that James is NOT mailing it in. He's still trying to jam and create on the spot and work his band. It would be TOUGH to be in that band. James, at 77 or whatever he is, is in charge. If he's a tenth of what he used to be, it's incredible what he used to be, because what he is now is super badass.

Star Time, anyone? Yeah. Star Time.

As my friend and I walked away from the show hacking a lung because of the smoke, we got in the car and simultaneously groaned because, "ooooh....my back...from standing too long." James Brown, at 77, still dances and twirls the mike, and can sing his ass off.

I said GOT dam.

Rockets Part 2

Enjoy

Building Rockets

I met with my dissertation chair yesterday and read some materials he gave me. At the end of that couple hours, I looked up to no one in particular and said, I have no idea at all how to write a dissertation. And then I said to someone that it's like telling me to write about how to go to the moon. I know that you have to take a rocket. I can write a paper about how you have to get in a rocket, wait for the countdown, sit there while it takes off, and then stay in the rocket until it gets to the moon, and then you're there. That's about what I know. It's not wrong. But the problem is that someone is telling me to not forget the instructions on how to build the rocket, and put in a section about flux capacitors, and the section about the alpha grommets will be very important, and there oughta be a section on the development of internal combustion and its development into, I don't know, external combustion, or whatever kind of combustion that rockets have, and oh, by the way, Sir Isaac Newton had something to do with all of this.

But I can't write about rockets. This is the problem.

Marbled Italian

Five Cent Personal Analysis of 2005

Formidable Blearyness

Nickel Therapy

This article is bad news from beginning to end.
And then it gets worse.

The thought that e-therapy is a good idea because it's convenient and cheap is very, very bad news. Um, how about whether or not it's effective? A six-session positive thinking course? I'm trying to get a doctorate for that crap? Oh, man, that's a bad sign.

And a minor point in the article but one that must be addressed: A $1,200 online course in recovery that is based on 12-step programs? A bill per step? Because people like the anonymity of the online format? Because the "anonymous" in "Alcoholics Anonymous" isn't quite anonymous enough?

I'm about to start on my dissertation arguing that long-term, insight oriented psychotherapy is a vital form of treatment for elderly individuals. Apparently, that will only be the case for those individuals without computer skills.

Only a matter of time before there's a booth at the local Super Wal-Mart that sells therapy for a nickel. Charles Schultz was prescient.

And I Will Live In An Affordable Puddle

I'm sitting here watching the latest Frontline episode on Wal-Mart and whether or not Wal-Mart is good for the economy. I am so completely depressed because people suck and corporations suck and the government sucks and the economy sucks and I'm going to die penniless and unemployed and uninsured and my grandmother will sleep outside and my dog will be cold and wet and I'll have to chew on my belt for nutrients. And then it will rain.

Humongo Windows Clusterfuck

This is for all of you holier-than-thou mac people.

sigh

So I waited 18 months to upgrade my desktop from Windows XP1 to Windows XP2. I waited because of the horror stories I had heard and read about people that lost everything when installing the upgrades online. I figured 18 months was plenty reasonable to think that Bill would work out the kinks on his download.

And really, the only reason I decided to upgrade is that I was having trouble networking my new laptop to my desktop, because the laptop has XP2 and my desktop has the unupgraded XP1. Before I loose you all to a pleasant slumber, I will continue.

I upgrade on Thursday. Works like a charm. Glory! Friday comes, and 7 Microsoft updates are ready for download. This, I think, is fine, because that's what happens. They provide updates that are important to download. Since the Thursday work went well and XP2 was up and running, I said, OK, here we go, all is well, run the updates.

Friday: 8 hours. Can't get the fucker to boot up. Not even in safe mode. No start button. No task bar. System Recovery won't work. Program deletions won't work. Driver rollbacks won't work. Three firewalls fighting for supremacy. None can be disabled. Dozens of power shutdowns and hard boots, all of which take a great deal of time.

Saturday: 8 hours. Same. Things are grim. I come to terms with spending money to get my computer fixed. (These guys are a riot, by the way. They get it. Really smart business model. Funny as hell, too. Call the 800 number for a huge laugh.) I look for my original operating system disc in order to reformat my hard drive and probably (though not for sure) lose all of my three years of work on this computer. BUT. I can't find the disc. Threw it away (and I don't throw ANYTHING away). Apparently I do.

So I have a computer that doesn't work at all and no way to reformat it. Now I come to terms with re-buying the operating system I already own. 200 bucks. Plus probably another 200 bucks to fix it. This is what I'm thinking.

Then: I borrow the disc from my father, who has a very similar desktop as mine, with the hope that his disc will work on my computer.

Sunday: I cannot trick my computer into booting from the CD drive. After a few hours, I figure out how. (The gods of love shone through at this moment.) The installation begins. I make my dad get on his hands and knees to read off the 25-digit authenticity code that is stickered to the bottom of his CPU (mind you, while he is making sloppy joes and I am making my sauce). I get the code. That's good enough for the install.

The install goes well. Then the computer and Bill decide that my copy of the system is not authentic. I find my original authenticity code (the gods helped with this, too), and I have to end up on the phone with someone in Bangladesh who is literally asking me how the weather is in Chicago because his system is running slow.

As I am nearing death, the guy in Bangladesh gives me a new code. I press "finish". The computer says "Thank You".

It works.

My data is safe.

I am well again.

P.S. The laptop and desktop are now successfully networked.

Art + Science = Meatballs

While cooking a big fat spaghetti and meatball New Year's dinner yesterday, I was overheard saying:

"I was going to do this as science, but, by my mistake, I'm going to have to do this as art, and, what this means is, this is probably going to suck." (Teo, New Year's Day, 2006)

I generally believe in cooking as art. But when it comes to complicated cooking with more than one component (i.e. both sauce AND meatballs) or when it comes to combining three meats with lots of herbs and cheeses and crumbs and eggs, well, I wanted to be scientific about it all. Too much margin for error. So I tried for science and added some art (as a method of recovery from a mistake in the scientific process), and I ended up with some KICKASS food.

Because I like to give and share, here's the recipe for my dad's Donatiello sauce and meatballs:

cut and paste:
-------------------------

Donatiello Spaghetti and Meatballs
Serves 4 or more.

1 Lg can (24 Oz) Liguria Crushed Tomatoes
2 Sm cans Tomato Paste
3 or 4 Paste cans of water (as needed).
1 heaping TBS Italian Parsley
1 heaping TBS Fresh Oregano
1 heaping TBS fresh Basil
2 Med onions
1 Lg Green peppers
1 TBS Salt
1 TBS Red Pepper Fakes
2 Cloves Garlic

Sauté garlic and red pepper flakes in olive oil in bottom of stock pot ( approx 5 min). Sauté onions, then peppers until translucent. Add tomatoes and paste and two cans of water. Add Spices and salt. Bring to boil, and then low heat (Simmer) while you prepare the meatballs. Occasionally taste, and add salt to remove any bitterness. Cook for two hours after adding Meatballs, stirring occasionally. Add water as needed for gravy consistency.

Meatballs :

1 - 1.5 Lb combo; 1/2 grnd sirloin, 1/4 pork, 1/4 veal (Sometimes labeled meat loaf ).
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1/2 cup Parmesan Cheese
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 TBS Chopped Fresh Italian Parsley
2 TSP Chopped Fresh Basil
1 TSP Salt
Bread Crumbs

Combine meat, eggs, Spices and 1/4 cup Cheese. Knead with Spoon or hands until mixed. Wet hands to form Lg Egg size balls. Half flatten ball, and coat with mixture of plain bread crumbs and 1/4 cup Cheese. Brown each side of balls in hot Veg oil for about 7 min each side, or until brown. Use slotted spoon to set meatballs in fry pan, turn and remove. Put Meatballs in Sauce and cook for two hours, stirring occasionally.

Add Meat and Sauce to your choice of pasta (Spaghetti or Linguini is best for this thicker sauce), and serve with Parisian cheese.
--------------------------------------

Coupla notes:

- I did not use Liguria tomatoes because I couldn't find them. That's OK.
- I used three large cloves of garlic for the sauce. Fine.
- I used 2 lbs. of meat rather than the 1 - 1.5 lbs. in the recipe, and I did not adjust any of the other ingredients. Works fine. Also my proportions of the three meats were in equal amounts rather than the .5-.25-.25 ratio listed above. Was fine.
- I fucked up the water and had to drain and re-add paste and water again. This was my deviation from science into art. It worked out.

Let me tell you, not only did it work out, but it was some of the best freakin' sauce and meatballs ever made. So next Sunday, I want all of you to cook for about four hours (count on 1.5 hours from beginning the sauce to having everything in there and beginning the simmer process). Then, I want the results.

I'll wait.

And We're Back

Things to tell you about.

- road trips
- Windows XP2 All Time Clusterfuck
- best spaghetti and meatballs on Earth
- resolutions

Glad to see all of you. The Teo will return shortly.