Did I Mention?

I am more excited about my day off today than I was on Monday when I learned that I will work here for a year. It's not that I'm not excited to work there, because it's a great training site and will serve me well.

It just didn't make me want to run naked in the streets, an urge I am currently fighting due to my unexpectedly spectacular news about having a day off.

Neighbors Beware

I. HAVE A DAY. OFF.
I HAVE A DAY OFF.
Off.
i HAVE. a DAY. OFF.
i have a day off.

I am generally scheduled to be at my training site on Fridays. But I have no committments there today. So I called my supervisor and said, "You know? I'd like a day off." He said, "That's fine. You've been on top of things and you've made several deposits, so you're just taking a little withdrawal."

I HAVE A DAY OFF.

By which I mean to say that I will write papers. But I might take a break and run around the block naked a few times. Because I can. Because, you know, I'm off.

Frank McCourt teaches American History

Made me laugh.

Snow

I'll be vacant from the blog for the next five days or so. The Pinatas are going to see some snow - something that isn't a part of our regular life in southern California. One of the great things about SoCal is that I can drive to the beach and go surfing or drive to the mountains and go skiing - either one is within two hours.

Little Pinatas and I shall construct snowmen.

Flying Toast, Redux

Some may recall the post on the B**** Blog way back when when I described the mysteries of rye toast that flies out of my Super Toaster with force significant enough that it lands halfway across the floor. There is a new development. When one is toasting Oat Bran bread, but decides to only toast one piece rather than two because one is getting a late start and lunch will be arriving soon enough that two pieces are not required, the one piece of toast does not have sufficient mass in order to create the requisite resistance needed to overcome the powers of the Super Toaster. Not only will the one piece burn quicker, but it will fly out as if it is actual rye toast. But I swear to you, and I'm not making this up, I caught it in midair, prior to the crash landing, and with one swift motion I was able to gently place it back in its proper toast cradle while I finished making my oatmeal.

The Super Toaster did not defeat me this morning.

Nature vs. Nurture

I volunteered in my son's class today and was assigned the task of working with a few different groups of students on the long "a" sound when the letters a and i appear together (as in "train", "waist", "hair", and "pain"). A few of the kids were able to work through the assigned tasks quickly and needed more to do, so I asked each of them to pick an "ai" word from the word list and write out a sentence using the word.

Sample sentences from the girls:

"At Christmas, I put braids in my hair." (Note: She used two "ai" words in that one.)

"The snail moved slowly."

"I am sitting in a chair."

Sample sentences from the boys:

"The car ran over the snail."

"A train crashed into a building."

"The man was bitten by a shark and felt pain."

---

I don't know why this happens - and by that I mean the Jerry Bruckheimerization of boys - but it really is remarkable that it plays out so boldly sometimes. Most (but certainly not all) of the boys included violence and/or destruction as some aspect of their sentence. The girls were much more varied in their subject matter and I don't think there was a single shark attack to be found in their work.

I blame you, George Lucas.

Overheard in my living room:

"When I'm older and have a little boy, I'm going to name him Anakin."

"If I have a baby boy, I'm going to name him Darth."

"I'm going to name him Luke."

"I think Clone is a good name."

"How about Stormtrooper? No, Dormpooper!"

And the room erupts in laughter.

Ties and Polished Shoes

One reason for the thin blog this month is that I've been interviewing ad neauseum for my training site next year. I'm going on a follow-up to a follow-up this morning, and I can tell you this: I am tired of interviewing. I think it's about over. One this morning, and then another one tomorrow. At 9:00 a.m. next Monday, I stare at the phone and wait for it to ring. If my first choice calls first, then that's great. If my second choice calls first, then I have to decide whether to turn them down, which is a risk because my first choice might not call. If my fourth choice calls in the meantime, it gets complicated, because I might have turned down my second choice and I might be the second choice of my first choice, and I don't want to lose out on my fourth choice because I have to go SOMEWHERE. It is conceivable that I (or anyone) could be the second choice at every site I like and end up without a placement. This would be the bad scenario. Anyway, it's worked out for the last two years, so I just have to wait and see. And I have to wear the tie at least two more times, and I'm OVER IT.

Though I just put on my jacket (a blue psychology-tweed as oppossed to my other brown psychology-tweed), and I found a wad of $24 cash in the breast pocket. Lunch money! So there you go.

Curious George: An update

So I saw the stage production of Curious George with my younger son's class today. Being with the class and sitting with my son was a blast, but the show was punishingly awful for anyone over the age of seven. Mercifully, the entire production lasted only 60 minutes. I know this because I was checking my watch frequently.

For those of you keeping score at home: the role of Curious George was in fact played by a guy in a monkey suit.

Portland, you're on with Goldie Hawn - go!

Today I am the one channeling Larry King:

1. Mrs. Pinata was cleaning out the upstairs closet and discovered a box of old VHS tapes (remember them?). In the box was a tape of a bunch of Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist episodes from 1995 or 1996. I watched a few episodes today (a day off) and laughed so hard I cried. That was one of the truly great and thoroughly underrated shows of the 1990s. That and NewsRadio.

2. What's up with the music they play at the gym? Being a southern California resident, I am legally required to go to the gym, and the music there is quite possibly the worst music on earth. And it is loud. I don't know where they find this music, but it is absolutely awful. Honestly, does anyone listen to the Pussycat Dolls when they're not in the gym? (Now I am channeling Seinfeld. "What's the deal with....?")

3. I'm going to the the theatrical drama that is "Curious George" with my younger son's class tomorrow. Some of you know that I am not fond of George, nor do I have much respect for his captor, er, "friend" with the yellow hat. It will take great restraint for me to not heckle the cast.

4. I want to buy an air freshener for my office, but they're all scents like "rainforest mist", "seabreeze tagerineberry", and "forest glade". Is it so hard to make an air freshener that will make my office smell like Starbucks?

5. If you have not seen Dave Chapelle on "Inside the Actor's Studio", you have missed out. More thoughtful and thought provoking than one might initially expect.

6. I miss Calvin and Hobbes.

Me Apologies, Hombres and Amigos

Hi.

Sorry I haven't written.

I'm trying. I really am. But I admit: I sent a private note to my fellow Hombres asking if our blog of three writing to a readership of four should continue. My Hombres, bless them, said it should. We like checking in with each other through this blog, even though it may not currently have the zing of late last summer.

Things you should know about the Tres Hombres: We are college buddies who rarely speak to one another, and this blog is a remarkably cool way to keep up with one another. Kevlar and Teodoro recently had their first phone conversation in over a decade, and it was as if we had never stopped. He still uses the nickname he gave me almost 20 years ago, and it still sounded right. So that in and of itself is good reason to keep Tres Hombres alive, even if there isn't a post all the time.

So. March will continue to be thin on the blog. It just will. It is what it is. But I want the Hombres to remain Hombres, and I want the four of you who read to keep coming back. We probably won't change the world here, but we can continue to have some fun and stay connected. And though Felicity is currently on leave, I'm confident that she is just on a jaunt to Morroco or some place exotic, and the potential for a good Felicity riff is definitely a good reason to keep the Hombres blog alive.

That said, I might blog about a giant crane I see every day, and I got tagged by Betsy last week and have not tagged back. I will. Maybe. Someday. Soon. I think.